Confidence WithIN. Love Shines ThroughOUT.

Saw the jungle book with some animal tribe members <3 :)

Hello, Friend! self, Universe, God, Ishvara, fellow human being. I hope you're doing well.

I haven't wrote for a while! I am going to share an exciting Update about the healing of my shoulder and wrist, revealing potent methods that have helped me on my journey. As well as navigate the major milestones in life that brought me to yoga in the first place. It is so important for us to not FORGET WHERE WE COME FROM!

My Yoga Journey started in 2011. I began to explore yoga midway through my first relationship, with a women i saw as the LOVE of my LIFE! She is beautiful and divine. If she's reading this, I love you! Come the end of this relationship, I felt as if Life could have ended... The only thing that made sense for me anymore was showing up onto my mat and breathing....learning how to breathe... Yoga Revealed itself to me. With the end of this first relationship, Yoga became a dedication. After showing up with a hurt heart....the heart began to heal. So once I felt healing...I could move on...I kept practicing. It made sense. I was put on this planet to practice Yoga. Stay Student.

So over the next 2.5 years, I would spend time with myself...practicing....finding more commitment to yoga, creating a new sense of dedication in Teaching! This would be one of the most profound experiences in my life. To Teach Yoga.

www.yogarevealed.comfor insightful conversations with the most sought out Yoga Teachers

After those initial few years, I entered the second relationship of my life with a beautiful person. She grounded me down, creating deep roots into logic, practicality, and self-security. A very beautiful relationship it was- although this relationship has ended come the start of the 2016 New Year, I believe ALL has unfolded in alignment.

Healing Happens.

I did indeed feel incredibly wounded. I spent time putting pieces of apuzzle together, in conjunction with anothers life-puzzle. When it was time for this relationship to end, I felt as if the pieces to the puzzle fell apart and I had to put myself back together. As if a bridge was broken.

Thankfully....When things have fallen apart in my life, YOGA is here. YOGA does not judge, it does not expect. It simply asks us to be with ourselves.

Having left the relationship...I felt...desperate to get closer to myself. I asked my teacher Ty a question after mysore.

"Ty, How can I find Ishvara?" With a huge knot in my throat, about to tear.

He said, "6 Days week. You Practice."

Female Embodiment - Bell

His answer did not satisfy me. But I humbly Bowed my head and received. 3 months later. Ishvara has been found...she has been felt within..She told me she was ALWAYS here. Stepping into the practice and offering my concerns, anxieties, and self created stories to the breath, to the spirit, to god, to Ishvara, whatever IT is....Handing my burden off... This has helped me find DEVOTION. And it gives me chills to tap in...to something beyond myself. So much greater than just Alec. A devotion to the life. A privilege. A feeling of reverence. 

Finding Devotion in Yoga... allows me to find greater Presence in my days.

Masculine Embodiment Dorje

With this Devotion....I practiced....With an injured shoulder.                                         From October2015 to March16..... I allowed my practice to slow down. I began to move with more integration of Bandha's, feeling the Root, the Mula as the origination of each posture. This is incredibly challenging, more so for the focus of the mind, over the tax it brings to the body. Taking my practice down to 60% energy has proved of high benefit!

My shoulder still hurt. My wrist still hurt. SO....I skipped chaturanga for many months. Gave it some ease. I found ways to practice....while honoring injury, yet it took a while for me to feel like I was not skimping myself out on practice. From Plank, I immediately swooped my pelvis forward and down, pulling the chest through the arms, integrating stronger legs and arms in the weight bearing backbend.(still wearing a nice plated wrist brace).  I did this for months and gave my left arm a huge break!

Returning to WHY i got injured: RELENTLESS handstands for years. I injured my wrist, over time, shoulder got pissed off too- and exacerbated by a snowboarding injury. Ego got the best of me....Perhaps i'll share more on that later. I'm totally open to my humility and owning my truth: I went into many asanas for attention, allowing my ego to come out- I retreated back into my heart...navigating the why I had felt such a need to be seen, when I have EVERYTHING I need- inside. Inside of Ishvara.... Inside of the heart. more on that later..

Now to reveal what has healed me from 8/10 Pain level down to a varried 2-3/10 discomfort....which is now truly workable. Its more like Awareness...I know it's still there. It's healing.

Come Feb 2016 I started seeing an acupuncturist. Erin Danowski in Boulder, CO. literally 14 weeks, back to back acupuncture appointments. Slowly but surely, this very visceral method of healing began to work.

• 2 months worth of taking daily Probiotics I got from Pharmica
• daily capsules of Tumeric and Bromelain (inflammatory)
• CASTOR oil- daily rubbing to irritated areas of body. This is also an inflammatory for muscles
• Physical Therapy and actually DOING the exercises prescribed
• KAMBO medicine
  •            This is the interesting part. I am a believer of mind expansion with substances and medicinal ceremonies. This is Tree Frog Medicine that hunters use before they set out on their hunt for the tribe. It involves receiving a few circular burns and applying Tree frog Poison to the burn....The heart starts to pound and a deep purge comes. Total Release.  The following day I felt clear....Question marks of self dissolved for some time...Bringing deep clarity and practicality. I wont say too much more about it...but the following days after, I went into practice and felt more integrated and felt NO pain through the entire practice! read this website to learn more... http://kambomedicina.com/
  • https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLFzWUsviPAAAfxyXE567byR-lvay_64g7&v=gTKQXOJK8DE.  Put this on! Listen with your heart. It is the tribal thank you song for Kambo Frog medicine. The children and women and men of tribes sit with this medicine to cleanse.  

The frog Offers itself to the shaman...the collector of the poison- This is a peaceful offering from the frog to us...Awakening.

So...

I sit here with a deep reverence in my body. Feeling my impermanence...recognizing the WEEKS of frustration I felt. Deep moments of sadness from loss of relationship, a sense that my body wasn't working properly... and a feeling of brokenness inside of me. Yet....Through consistent practice, devoting myself to Ishvara, I find that I am and always have been whole ~  WE are ALWAYS whole! IT is illusion to feel separate from ourselves. This does not devalue any feeling of pain or hurt inside....But knowing it is a part of the healing process; to become closer to ourselves.

If you read all this....thanks for sharing in the experience of being human. I hope something was pulled out of this and can be integrated into your life, into your practice. We all have something to offer each other...this I believe, this i try to practice with each new individuals and present people in my life.

May You Be Blessed

"Put Yourself In Situations To Succeed.

Go to Dinner When You Are Tired.

You Need To Be In The Right Place At The Right Time In Order To Create Your Own 'Luck Events.'

The More 'Luck Events You Put Yourself In, The Greater Your Likelihood For Success." 

^^ Written on the wall of the house I am currently staying at.

Sending LOVE to YOU!

We are the Dreamers of Dreams

ENTER GOD MODE.

^ Click and embrace the message of a new age Bodhisattva!

Injury as teacher. Neglected Body speaks.

stay curious. 

phew! it's been a while since i have posted on here. (i SURE do miss traveling....exciting things are happening in life and I intend to take some space to speak to a few things at the moment)

Thank you to the universe- for creating SPACE for all things to evolve...sometimes feeling moments of stagnancy so we can appreciate what has been- and what will be.

I have been resistant to take the time, sit down, and write words about an injury i am working through. Perhaps through my own ego becoming vulnerable? yes....but more so...I needed to navigate the experience so I can shine light on what I am embracing. Over the last four years, The asana made sense in my body. I hadn't injured myself via yoga postures and found the breath to movement sequence, ashtanga mysore practice, and the exertion of hand balancing intriguing...to show myself that I am capable beyond what is at a first glance 'impossible'. 

Chaturanga..pressups...low flying arm balances to push the limit. Back in July when I was halfway through Richard Freemans Teachers Training Intensive...My left wrist began to speak to me. Something unique was going on underneath the ulna (small bone pinky side of the hand). It didn't hurt at the time, but it was speaking a yellow flag to SlowDown. I ignored it. Naturally. 

Samadhi Center for Yoga in Denver

JULY. I kept practicing and started making my way through the primary and secondary series a few times a week. I would say there is over 120 Chaturangas in both series. Come September....my wrist started to hurt a lot. I began to slowly listen and move more mindfully in practice. This was after two months of not listening and practicing intensely on the wrist. On September 10th, I chose to take a break from Asana. A break that would last until yesterday, October 13th. I visited the mat three times- attending Vinyasa classes and found that my wrist was not ready to bear weight. It hurt. It did not feel good. I was challenged. Here we go...... 

 So.....I engaged in the visualizations of the asana taught. It is a beautiful experience to visualize what weight bearing postures feel like on the inside, with breath internalizing the asana. *OVER A MONTH of no asana!

“Asana is the preparation for the Real Yoga ”

— Sharath Jois

AT least....wearing a splint makes me feel like iron man :D

wow. I sat a lot. multiple times in a day. After 2 weeks of not practicing, I decided to get an MRI and see what was going on. I have a micro Tear on the FTCC band resting on the ulna, a small piece of ligament.   It became a beautiful challenge when asana practice has become a 5-6 weekly practice for me. To release. To feel. to see myself. And at one point i have to Halt and take rest for a month....that is when it became an internal practice for me to integrate my experience of the hours spent on the mat....off the mat. 

"we can offer you a cortisone shot, possible surgery, or a splint."

"i'll take the splint." I believe I can heal myself if I take my healing and resting process seriously!

So....Everyday over the last two weeks I have been wearing a splint that restricts my left wrist from bending forward and back (flexing and extending).

Injury as teacher. Humbling the ego, to set it aside and level myself with you....who may find asana to be challenging, painful, or frustrating. I feel I have always held a strong practice, from personal practice to sitting, to taking my yoga out into the world through presence. After a day of sadness....i accepted the challenge the universe has bestowed upon me and i am taking practice day by day. Practicing Mysore yesterday (tuesday) was incredible. I did chaturanga on my fists. No downward FacingDog...Dolphin with hands interlaced to avoid intense weight on the wrist.  It didn't seem to slow me down too much.......But it was different. I felt an internal fire That i longed for over the last 4 weeks. the movement of prana. I still feel a sense of energy stagnant within me....which is where the asana serves as a facet to release anxiety, stale energy, and create possibility in the body. I missed this experience over the month. Observing my attachment to the asana practice has allowed me to take postures more mindfully.... to listen to the flag in my body and not serve the ego, but to serve the stability of my body through tuning in. I find that It is hard to have a limited practice with modifying so many postures, but i know it is possible. For myself and for many people who encounter injury through the asana. 

This is a portion of yoga we don't hear about. Recenetly a well known yoga instructor, Jason Bowman had Knee surgery...... you can read his experience here...   His words are profound.

I caught my wrist to a minor red flag. It could have been much worse if i chose to stay strong in head and ignore my wrist, I would be out for a few months. Although I am wearing a wrist brace while i teach and practice asana few times a week.. (twice this week so far).... I feel an honor to speak to the experience. 

there are two ways to look at any challenge.  My brother Sean Hall aided in my dissecting of my wrist experience through universal obstacle we all will face. We can look at situations as if they happen TO us. Things become unfortunate and we play a pity party on ourselves and play victim. Where life seems out to get us and make things hard and we have to just 'suck it up', and 'deal with it'. Phrases we have all heard. Life happens TO us.  

OR.

WE can be the Masters of Mind. Instead, situations of challenge simply HAPPEN. And we are left with the choice to observe our response with a sense of phycological health towards creating new patterns....aside from diving into old patterns of victimizing ourselves and not showing up to the best of our ability. I most definitely played pity party on myself for two or three days. It is so exhausting! to my energy....to my body...it just wasn't fun to be around anyone when i was beating myself up on the inside... So i started to speak out loud to my beloveds about this small struggle I was embracing....... thus..... the master of mind perspective is born. Life happens FOR us to have a choice in response. 

Photography by Laundry Photography   I believe in Healing

During the month I took off, I neglected the rest of my body. My wrist was upset and I chose to lay off asana 100%. Teaching has been a challenge. Yet I have allowed the challenge to create a new found sense of articulation through my words and verbal cues. Also, changing what I am teaching.... ;) hips and backbends!

 I stretched through the days, but not in a strength building way, nor did i cultivate a breath to movement meditation. I stayed away from the practice room. this is where I felt regret for moment. My wrist was injured yes, but to what extent did I feel the need to give up standing asana's in the primary series? or just skipping chaturangas? Okay. okay. Ego ego ego ego ego ego ego egoegoegoegoegoego. LeggoMyEGO!   Not only did i get a nice scare from practicing three times during the month off- and feeling PAIN in my wrist....I perhaps felt a lack of intention in my practice as of recent. I didn't feel inspired to just show up. Almost as if my intention had hardened into a clay mold for me to live within. 

Alas.... Practicing two days ago felt incredible. My body began to speak once again and it gave thanks for moving diligently, intelligently, honoring the wrist with modifications. As the sunset Light peered through the window, I felt Faith. In the last week, i have woken up and spoke to my guides, angels, and the universe.... "Thank you for showing me what i need to learn today. I am open to you..Thank you for your healing"

I have been observing the ideas of HOPE AND FAITH. what do you feel more inclined to call into your situation of challenge? 

Hope walks through the fire.....Faith Jumps over it. Faith...not as in religion...but a sense of TRUST that the universe is looking out for you, me, we, US....sometimes by placing obstacles before us so we are able to overcome challenge. I believe any injury in the body has a spiritual teaching to what the greater message is.....

In my case....constantly finding humility, staying humble, and honoring the experience of the body and limits being expanded upon. with BREATH.

We all need healing....Calling it in for the world <3

Phew. It feels good to express this experience I am having. Everyday is Different. Every practice is different. 

The body heals. The breath heals. The answers come from the breath. no matter the experience.....drop deep into feeling and may your internal experience be reflected with a deep state of breath....effecting the external unfolding of the body. 

"You can't rush your healing. Darkness has its teaching. Love Is never leaving" - Trevor Hall

I will post back soon. :) Lots of amazing things are happening. If you read all this, thank you for reading and holding space.

I leave you with amazing music. Nico Jaar's side project. DARKSIDE.

All my love. May you be filled with abundance and breath. 

( ( ( <3 ) ) ) 

Practice. Going deep.

I awoke promptly at 7:40am to tycho gently playing from my phone. Some mornings are hard. meh... most mornings challenge me and something urges me to stay in bed, yet this curiosity for possibility wants me to get up and move. 

I woke, showered, ate a bit of food and got in the car and drove to The Yoga Workshop to practice, with an intent to flow through the primary series, just in time to rest my head with the morning crew in savasana. I love the space held in savasana; i go deep, beyond the room, into a state of transcendence of thought; for just a glimpse in time at least.

As i was driving my car, I took a deep breath and for some reason, I couldn't breathe! it was not the lack of courage to take a breath and see my feelings, it was a physical sticky icky, hardness and obstruction of breath in my nasal passage.

"GawD BleSs iT! how am i going to practice if i cant breathe? not even out of one nostril? Whatever. I'll still go and show up. I'm halfway there, I am supposed to go this morning," my mind said.

I walk into the workshop and I see a few familiar faces, some I find excitement to meet, some that i am honestly a bit intimidated by, due to the depth of their practice. in my own core, it truly excites me, to see practitioners far into the 3rd and 4th series of Asthanga. maybe one day...

For those that don't know, Mysore is a self-guided practice, following the Primary Series of Ashtanga Vinyasa yoga as taught by Sri K Pattabhi Jois, GuruJi, who brought yoga to America through his students. it is a very challenging and quite inaccessible sequence that has almost 60 Chaturangas!   it is fire and intensity! 

As I stepped onto the mat, i chanted the opening prayer & released my hands to my sides. I took an incredibly slow inhalation breath that lasted maybe 7-10 counts to reach my hands high above my head & my exhale folded my body in half. It was only this slow because my nose is all clogged up! Oh, but wait! I couldn't exhale! so i just folded in half with no connection to breath! bahumbug.

I floated back into chaturanga with no breath and sipped in air as i stretched my belly forward into Upward Facing Dog. 

Ex-hale (i mean cough!!) Downward Facing Dog we go. I tried to let my head go, but the pressure upon my sinus was too intense to do so. My head kept gazing forward as If i was about to pounce ahead. 

I did this three more times, Surya Namaskar, without an ability to deepen my breath and find my flow. I asked Ty, the main Mysore instructor If i could sit, because I just couldn't breathe. He welcomed my meditation.

So i sat down, crossed my legs in padmasana & noticed my surroundings. the hardest part: Close.My.Eyes.

I sat in padmasana until my ankles began to speak to me and as they did, I sat in sukhasana, a cross legged position with one heel in front of the other. 

i closed my eyes. the first ten minutes consisted of the monkey mind, thoughts bouncing off of eachother as if there was a furnace in my body, expressing energy wanting to move in every way, shape, and form. 

once I decided to DROP IN - I focused my eyes within, came to my mantra that Yashoda DeviMa taught me through Vedic Meditation... and slowly began. The interesting thing about meditation is we bring our focus of awareness onto an object. For myself & most early practitioners to meditation, we understand this focus and intention; yet we constantly lose sight of the object. Observing the loss of focus on the object (breath, mantra, whatever your focus is) is the greatest teacher to maintaining steady practice. Keep coming back....

Mantra comes and goes and when it would leave, I integrated a few pranayama practices, mindful breathing exercises. This was hard since I couldn't exhale, not even 25%! 

I opened my eyes and was so surprised to see 35 minutes have passed! wow! At that point, I closed my eyes again and began to simply listen.

creating the relationship with the strangeness that exists within.....with compassion <3 

this is when things got deep. I tuned in. To everyone I was sharing the space with. the Breath....wow...

hearing everyones breath come and go through inhalation and exhalation was incredible. It was as if I was in a cave; and if clouds could make sounds, this Ujayii breath embodied a Cloud Wave ebbing and flowing from each practitioner to the next. it brought me security, comfort, and inspiration.

As i embellished in the sound of breath, I let my fascination soften and I come back to my breath. At this point, I cannot put into words the experience I came to feel.. I knew I was in a room, I knew my back was resting softly against the wall, my hands were in my lap, I knew there was an immense presence of breath all around me. I had my mantra on repeat in my mind, yet my mindseye was tapped into somewhere else. a source? I felt connected, even though I felt my breath disconnected from my body.

So here....I found myself going so deep, without going into a deep backbend, twist, arm balance, or asana. I felt incredible high from sitting still. I opened my eyes to see 48 minutes had passed, only to see colors lit up with exuberance. Then i laid down in savasanna for about 2 minutes. ( i couldn't breath and laying down flat was not a pleasant sensation. )

I find this important, to sit still. Even for 5 minutes. In our days filled with chaos, over-stimulus, and so much movement, It must be important to find stillness.  

This was my morning.  I had an intent and expectation to flow, move through physical challenge and exertion. instead, my body spoke to me and asked for less, to tune in, to see something new. I listened. 

If we listen to our bodies, we will always win. always. How i got sick? well, i don't know. maybe I didn't listen earlier. Now i'm trying to listen. Always...over and over. 

Go deep inside my friends. <3 Theres a great landscape waiting to be seen. <3

Nuzzle up into your seat

hi my friends. I hope you are well <3 if you have read any of these words on this blog, I give thanks for your attention and energy shared. Sometimes as I write, I don't imagine these words will be read, yet I write them as I believe the universe tunes in to me as I express myself. 

These are a complication of words that came to me as I observed my morning and evening meditations on the beach over the last week.  

​nuzzle up into this seat. 

eye lids connect. 

take a moment to tune in.

waves crashing. Crickets. Wind. Softness.  

Glimpses of breath, rising and falling.

Eyes open to find reassurance. To see safety. To feel here. 

gaze up to see a painting of light, stars shining hope and faith upon the night.

eyes connect to projection point, third eye creation sight.

stillness. it comes and goes through mantra. 

nuzzle up into the seat. 

Thoughts move slower than they have before. 

And then....  here, now, sleep comes. 

 waves crashing walls of water, birds singing songs to ponder, waking with the colorful sky, might bring us into life.

nuzzle up in the seat. 

Glazed eyes of exhaustion transform into eyes of curiosity. 

Nuzzle into the seat. 

So in love with life...  willing to be dissolved & re-created.